Hotel Saint Peter's

Has anyone else noticed that when I get to the part about talking about the hospital I stop writing? It is true... I just can't get myself to write in depth about it.

This is mainly because it was simultaneously the easiest and hardest thing I've ever done. I have never felt so alone in my life, but at the same time I've never felt so incredibly loved. Sometimes at the same exact second. There is literally no way to describe it... Which is why I just don't even attempt to.

Basic points:

• I had beyond amazing nurses that I created wonderful friendships with.

• I was on Magnesium Sulfate a total of 5 times in 5 weeks. The final being the night I had the quads. The second to last one made me so incredibly ill I was afraid to close my eyes and sleep in fear that I wouldn't wake up. I don't think I have ever felt like that in my entire life.

• I grew wonderful friendships with the hospital staff including the meal deliverers, restaurant staff, security, and doctors.

• I had weekly visits from family an friends on various days. My Wed afternoon visits from my mother in law, sister in law and her kids and my grandmother in law. My Wed evening daddy-daughter dates with my dad at the hospital restaurant. Tue date nights with my hubby (he came other days, but this was our dinner date night). My Sat with mom and Angel. My Thursday nights with my brother and sister in law (we never did get that picture). And the occasional visits from friends when I felt up to it.

• My normal day went like this: 5:30am wake up by resident dr, 6am nurse with meds and vitals check, 7:30am bfast delivered, 9am nurse visit with more meds and my time on the contraction monitor, 10am dr came for exam, 11am ultrasound to check babies heartbeats, 12pm lunch delivered and nurse with more meds, 2pm vitals check, 5:30pm dinner delivered, 6pm meds, 8pm contraction monitor again, 9pm meds, 12am meds and then bed. Sounds like a lot, but it was an extremely lonely time in between my wonderful nurses and visitors.

• I made a promise to myself to never cry in front of my kids and I kept that promise (miraculously).

• Skype was my best friend. 

• I was there so long that they let me order off of the staff's menu... honestly I haven't eaten so well for so long in all of my adult life.

• My husband was both parents for 3 months... and sometimes still now. I don't know how he did it - I am just still in awe of the way he could hold things together while his wife was stuck in a room. AND work 2 jobs... he's amazing.

Yeah... I really can't write more about it now. I can't believe it is over and I miss it in some ways... But am so grateful to be home with my family (well half of it).

Pix... why yes, of course :)

 Me and my husband Superman. I don't think at this point I was able to leave the floor yet, but he came in looking dapper for me anyway :)

 Munch was so good when he visited (about 2 or 3 times a week for a few hrs). When they moved me to the amazing corner private suite there was more room for him to run wild :)

 My first flowers sent to me from Superman's cousin... He is serving overseas on his tour. When I realized who they were from I burst into tears. Here I was safe and sound in a hospital bed in New Jersey and he's thinking to send me flowers... I'm always amazed and honored by my friends and family in our armed forces.

 A pic with my sister-in-law Auntie Rah-Rah and her son BamBam - along with Angel and Munchie.

 I LOVED my visits from my kiddos...

 Our wonderful Pastor came to visit almost weekly and I loved our time to talk. He dropped off this amazing care basket put together from my MOPS mommy friends... It kept me going in the end - I love them so much <3 

Visit with my mom!

Our Angel's 13th Birthday

Although my family and friends questioned my dr sending me home that Monday, I politely as I could told them all to shut their pie holes and made sure no one was around to argue the dr when he came for my check up that day. I mean, there was little they could do for me in the hospital and I just wanted to be home.

In wise wisdom, my husband wouldn't allow me to go back to our home though - I needed to be babysat. So off I went to my old room at my parent's house to be taken care of my my wonderful Mom. Although I fought it, I knew I wasn't going to win this one. It ended up being a blessing as my mom cooked for me and made sure I was taking care of myself by pretty much not allowing me to do anything. 

Tuesday was our Angel's 13th birthday. It was really a blessing to be sent home for that day to celebrate with our girlie as I was missing her in the hospital as much as she was missing me. We planned out a family Mardi Gras party for her with beads, masks, candy, etc... We always have a themed family party for her and probably will continue it until she pleads with us no to anymore. We are starting to run out of ideas though, as we have had everything you can think of from a 70's theme to pajama party. We've done Glam, Hannah Montana, Hawaiian, Pirates, and everything in between. Hence the random Mardi Gras theme :)

Our lovely 13 year old Angel had a great time. It was great to see most of our family there celebrating our 1st born during a time that was very hard for her.

Little did I know that the celebrating was only going to last so long... The very next day I laid down to go on the contraction monitor that I went on twice daily so many times before. It showed 11 contractions in 1 hour....... crap. I knew where this was going to go - and I was going to fight to have it not occur, but I lost.

Wednesday Feb 22nd was my check in day at Hotel Saint Peters.

Early January through Mid February

Oh dear... it's been a while. I think home bed rest and hospital bed rest left me uninspired to share my days filled with internet browsing and really (really) crappy tv watching. I should have posted more, considering looking back it all seems like such a blur, but I can't worry about it now - I'll just post what I remember...

Early January through mid February was my learning time for accepting help. IT WAS SO HARD! It's a combination of me wanting control, proving I can do everything,  and feeling like I don't want to inconvenience anyone. However, I couldn't chase Mr. Munch anymore and my Angel was getting bored (to say the least), and so the help wasn't an option - I needed it. Thankfully my wonderful family and friends came to our rescue picking up the kids, watching them, dropping off meals, etc... It was so humbling and I felt so incredibly blessed!

My days alone at home were spent watching absolutely horrible tv - yes to the tune of MTV reality shows, ABC Family dramas, and TLC. Okay... so some of you know me well enough to know that I watch most of that anyway :) There are worse things to watch out there!

At home I have to admit, I ate horribly, didn't drink enough, and couldn't sleep for the life of me. My wonderful Dr had me set up with a home monitoring company which rented me the contraction monitor, blood pressure reader, and gave me 24/7 nursing call services. They were wonderful, but the system really didn't work in my case. In the beginning of the month it was fine, I stayed most of the time below my threshold of 6 contractions in an hour. As the weeks crept on though, the contractions increased which sent me in and out of the hospital's labor evaluation unit a few times. I ended up just driving myself a few times because I knew I felt okay and they would be sending me home anyway.

On Feb 17th I woke up feeling horrible. Back pain, lower abdomen cramping, just plain not right. Seth decided to drive me to a normally scheduled appointment and go to work late that day. Before heading into the office though, we stopped at IHOP for breakfast. Never mind that I was in pain in the car on the way there and never mind that I didn't feel like I could make it through the meal... I wasn't going to pass up an IHOP breakfast!

Things progressively got worse and I was happy when I made it into the office to be seen. To make this already long story short, they took me in, and sent me right over to be seen at the PET unit for evaluation again. This time though, they set me up with a single room, so I knew something was up. After being on the monitor for an hour, they saw that my contractions were only about 3-4 minutes apart and they had to be stopped because I was only 24 weeks pregnant at the time.

Being only the first time this pregnancy going into preterm labor, I had NO CLUE what I was to expect. I didn't know about Magnesium Sulfate or the BETA shots they gave me for the babies lungs. I had no clue how long I would be in the hospital and how I would feel when I went home. 

They started the Magnesium quickly and the fun began. I fought the exhaustion it causes as hard as I could, but finally gave in to the overpowering side effects. I have never been on a drug that literally feels like it is sucking every last ounce it can take from you until they started dripping Mag into my veins. It sucked the life right out me, gave me the finger, and skipped away carrying what I can only imagine was the innards of my soul.

I was so blessed to be taken care of by a sweet nurse who was amazing during the whole process. I could not wish on anyone what she had to witness that night, lol. I did see her later in my hospital stay and thanked her greatly for her care - while on the inside I was thoroughly embarrassed as I had always wished our paths wouldn't cross again.

They moved me into the High Risk Maternity, what I will refer to as 4G, and set me up to stay for 4 days. After not eating for 24 hours and being on Magnesium for 2 days, I was spent. I had no shame left and could barely walk to the bathroom without a nurse there to help me. I earned the wonderful wrist band of "FALL RISK" and for good reason.

The nurses and I got along swimmingly though and after 1 night of sharing a room on 4G they moved me to a private room at the very end of the hall. It had an amazing view and more room for people to visit.

Although I continued to have contractions and some pain through the weekend, my doctor said I was fine to be sent home on Monday... little did I know I would be back again very (very) soon.

The Weeks Fly By

Oh how the weeks fly by!! I have so much to post and upload on here, so I've decided to take this week and bring my blog up to date. From January to current in 1 week... Pix, stories, information... a fantastic hormonal ride through time :)

Check in later today for my first update

Update on Our Little Baby Girl A's Heart

Just a quick update before I attempt (again) to go to sleep. I have found I have a grand new sleeping pattern...

• 6:30am: wake up (thanks Munch), cook breakfast, drag Lizzie out of bed, feed kids
• 9:00am: Munchie nap... Mommy shower and nap. I mean out stone cold on the couch nap!
• 11:00am: Munch up and Mommy up.
• 7:00pm: Become beyond exhausted.
• 11:30pm: Bedtime for Mommy and Daddy.
• 12:30am: Frustrated with laying there for an hour, give up and get up
• 2:30am: Back into bed... and we begin our cycle again at 6:30am!

It stinks... but in about 10 weeks I'll have 4 more little boogers to keep me company :)

Speaking of my boogers, I wanted to jump online tonight to write an update on our little Baby Girl A's heart. And you thought I was just going to razzle and dazzle you with my sleep schedule!!! Which was actually a tangent and completely not the reason that I am sitting here on the computer at 12:30 at night! But, it's written and I'm sticking with the content :)

My mom and mother-in-law both had plans today, so I called my wonderful sister-in-law to see if she could come to the rescue and watch my kiddos. Having two of her own (2 and 7mon), I felt guilty even asking - she already has her hands fully blessed!! True to character though, she was happy to take them in and watch Munch and hang out with Angel for a few hours today. Munch loves playing at her house and I'm excited for the stories we'll be able to tell as our boys grow up together!

As for my visit to Saint Peter's, I was so nervous about the appointment that I had almost gotten myself sick by the time I was in the waiting room. The ultrasound specialist (I'm sure there's a technical name for them, I just am too lazy to google it right now) took a look at everything for about 45 minutes. The Pediatric Cardiologist came in next with the wonderful and talented Evil Dr Doomstress to conduct their own Echo Cardiogram on Baby A, which took another hour.

The findings: One small hole, which they called VSD, in her little heart. The Cardiologist said from the looks of it though, it should close by itself by the time she is 2 years old, if not before, without surgery!! Also, they see this less likely linked to other complications then to it!

We have a follow up appointment with the Pediatric Cardiologist in 5 weeks and beyond that, they will give Sweet Baby A a visit in the hospital for an Echo after birth.

We're so relieved and happy! I was so worried we were going to loose her which, although I always knew there was a possibility of loss, I could never imagine it this far along. We're so grateful!

A Notorious Insomniac

I'm so tired, but I can't sleep. I would love to say this is something new that will come and go with pregnancy... but it would be a lie. I am a notorious insomniac - along with many in my family - and just can't shake it. Tonight I think is a combination of the Pediatric Cardiologist appointment tomorrow accompanied along with the general... let's be positive and call it "discomfort"... that comes along with carrying 3 more babies then one woman should!

So what do I do?! I turn to obsessing over little items to get my mind off of the bigger stuff. Tonight's focus: not sure yet. Was checking out baby names... might do some pinning... probably will change some things around again on my blog. Then sleep?! Please?!

A Weak Week 19...

Oh, I started a post a few days ago about my very hectic Tuesday trip to the hospital... little did I know I would have to erase and start over to just include the whole stinkin' week. It was a weak week 19 for me...

Monday:
Seth took me out with one of our favorite couples, his brother and girlfriend (my almost bday twin), to celebrate our birthdays (mine:11th, her's:12th). We went to one of the AMC Dinner and a Movie theaters - which is my new favorite thing! It was relaxing, I had a good meal, and saw a great movie (Mission Impossible 3)... I couldn't have asked for a better time! When we arrived home, I started to feel a lot of pressure and some back pain, but decided I just ate a lot and maybe walked a little to much that evening and needed to go to bed.

Tuesday:
Seth woke me up and instantly knew something was wrong. He took a few hours off of work in the morning to tend to Mason while I slept and tried to feel better. It didn't work. After a few more hours of contractions and lower back pain, I called a dear friend to get some advice. I knew what she was going to say, but needed to hear it from someone else. "Just call the Dr" she advised... As afraid as I was to do so (thanks to the Evil Dr Doomstress from the previous visit), I finally called and they told me to come right in for observation.

We were there all day, but thankfully not admitted for preterm labor! I was told to take it easier, to get more help with the kiddos and to lay down as much as possible. Which, to avoid hospital bed rest, I can do!

Wednesday:

Dropped the kiddos off with my mother in law and spent the day resting my body from the stress it was put through the day before. On my way home, I stopped at Target to pick up some needed items (toilet paper and good munchies, if you must know). I sat in the car, knowing that the Dr told me to take one of the riding carts through the stores from now on... and I just couldn't do it. They are there for a wonderful reason, and I know that, but I just never ever thought I would have to put-put around on one of them.

I sat for about 10 minutes before I called my mom and asked her to please talk me into listening to the Drs and to use one of them. After going back and forth in trying to build up my confidence, she finally asked "Cass, do you want me to meet you down there for company while you go around the store?" To which there was only one thing to reply: "YES MAMA I DO!!" LOL!  How incredibly wonderful was it that she actually met me at Target just to go through the store together. We ended up laughing the entire time about how I could not for the life of me get used to driving that cart. It went to fast, it was too wide, and for heavens sake it beeps when you back up!!

My hubby picked up the kids from his mom's that evening and they all picked me up to take me out for a birthday dinner at Applebees :) Good ending to a relaxing bday!

Thursday:

Drs appointment day... oh boy. I had my anatomy scan done for all the babies and I think they got everything in about 3 hours. The ultrasound girls and I had a grand time talking the whole time and it actually went pretty fast. Until... Evil Dr Doomstress walked in the room to "recheck" a few things. NEVER good, my friends.

After about 10 minutes of scanning with me asking what she's looking for she finally shared that something didn't look right with our Little Girly A's heart. I didn't even know how to react at first. I laid there and tried to hold back tears compose myself, and went asking exactly what she was looking at. Basically, our sweet little A's heart has two or three holes in it from what she could tell. I was heartbroken... She scanned the rest of the babies and they all looked fine (thank God).

Then Evil Dr Doomstress went into all of the gory details: We could loose the baby before she's born, we could loose her after she's born, she could need multiple surgeries, it could lead to other disabilities, OR it could heal itself and she could be fine... She went on to tell me that the holes were high in the heart, so less likely to heal themselves or to be easily operated on. She handed me a piece of paper with information on it, told me to come back in 3-4 weeks for a Pediatric Dr to do an Echo cardiogram and that was that....

I went down the hall to see my regular Dr where I got a very different story. (1) Holes higher in the heart are surrounded by muscle, so they tend to heal themselves. (2) Holes higher in the heart are less likely to be associated with further disabilities. (3) I did not have to wait 4 weeks for a Pediatric Dr, we will make the appointment for the next time they come in the office (this upcoming Wed).

With such a mix of information, I just shut down. The rest of the appointment is a blur - all I know is they prescribed me heartburn medication (thank goodness) and we made more appointments.

Of course my phone died while I was in the office, so I just had to spend the drive home dealing with trying to keep things in perspective and not cry. Which worked... okay... it worked-ish.

That was it - Evil Dr Doomstress did me in for the whole night and next day. I was up all night with nightmares, migraines, panic attacks, and sick stomach. It threw me out of commission the entire Friday. I couldn't barely get off the couch. Having not eaten anything the previous day from 1pm - 7pm, having not processed anything I put in my poor stomach afterward, and not able to keep anything down Fri morning either, I was ready to tap-out. My mother went out to pick up my nausea prescription and my mother in law had to come to my house to pick up my kiddos. THANK GOD FOR CLOSE FAMILY!!!!!!!



Today I am doing better and have eaten and drank a lot of water. I will NEVER allow myself to seen by this horrible Dr again though. (1) she has NO bedside manner and (2) she was completely wrong with information she shared with me on our daughter's prognosis. NEVER AGAIN will I allow myself to be broken down physically or mentally the way she did the last two times (ummm, the only two times) I saw her.

We are awaiting our appointment with the Pediatric Cardiologist on Wed at 1pm... I am also going to call my Dr Monday morning to go over the results with me again, as he didn't do the scan or see the images, but was going on shared information at the time of my appointment.

A few things to pray for:

(1) That Girly A's heart is fixable either through surgery or by itself. Also that it is located higher in the heart where the muscle is.

(2) My cervical length shortened a lot between Tuesday's scan and Thursday's scan. They have to check it now every week for a while. Just pray that it scans the same this Wed as it did before as shortening cervical length could be a quick way for me to land on hospital bed rest.

Sending out love and hugs to those I am not seeing as much. This has taken us away from a lot of our social outlets and I'm missing my dear friends greatly <3

The Results of Our Little Stinkers-To-Be

I really could be bad and keep the suspense going on this one for a while - but why ruin the fun!!

As promised here are the results of our little stinkers to be :)

Baby A

Girl

Baby B

Girl

Baby C

Girl

Baby D

Boy

Both Seth and I had a heart attack! 3 MORE GIRLS!!! WHOA! I know many uncles who are going to be super busy protecting our 4 little ladies in the years to come!

We are so thankful for our growing brood of kiddos and are excited to meet the four little ones one their way!

As if I was some kind of freakshow...

Have things ever changed in the last few weeks. I have become seriously uncomfortable at night time. I can't lay down because of severe heartburn and I can't sit up because my ribs feel like they're being bruised! With a few attempts to walk through a mall and even Target, I am starting to be willing to give up the fight and just not go out. Which, if you know me at all, is very hard!

As for the last dr appointment, well, it was interesting. As always the ultrasound specialist was heaven sent... all the ladies are so kind and warm - such a God send! All of our tiny little babies are looking great with wonderful heartbeats and good growth. AND YES WE KNOW ALL OF THE GENDERS!!! You will have to check back tomorrow night to see the results though, as we have yet to tell our wonderful parents - who really have been so patient in waiting - I honestly don't know how!

Anyway, the ultrasound went smoothly and only ran about 45 minutes this time. I did have a quick question for the doctor though, and as my regular doctor was on holiday, I said I didn't mind waiting for the dr in the office for the day. Boy was that ever a mistake!

I had been suffering from horrible heartburn and reflux for over a week and it was to the point where I was afraid to eat anything - including water. Everything seemed to have a reaction and I was just not willing to deal with the painful after affects of whatever I decided to chow down on. I asked the doctor if I could take anything aside from TUMS to help ease the pain because it wasn't doing anything for me anymore. She suggested Maalox instead of switching to a RX for it. Okay fine... but then she went into sharing all kinds of information about my situation that completely threw me for a loop... and not just a somersault kind of loop... I'm talking about a Six Flags main attraction roller coaster kind of loop!

As stated by this doctor:

• "The human body was not designed to carry 4 babies at once - of course your facing issues."- I found this completely judgemental and crass! As if I was some kind of freakshow... OH OH... did I forget to tell you, wonderful doctor, that YES I was out in South Dakota in the middle of September where a UFO beamed me up, probed me, and sent me back down on this earth for you to look down upon...... IF IT WASN'T MEANT TO HAPPEN - IT WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED!!
• "I would arrive at every appointment from now on with a packed hospital bed rest bag in your car and backup plans for your kids, because there will be a time where you won't be allowed to go home. They'll just transfer you from here to the main hospital".- Whoa whoa whoa... slow down... hospital bed rest!? Can we please arrive at even discussing home bed rest first!? Which, btw, my regular doctor hasn't even brought up with me! I do see benefit of pre-planning and YES it has kicked me into gear on preparing everything for the inevitable. Seriously though, at the risk of sounding completely cynical, I'm not being committed and I'm not being arrested... depending on the severity of the situation, if I need to leave, I am completely free to do so!
• "You will develop pre-eclampsia, you will develop preterm labor, you will face other complications. If you treat yourself like a 90 year old now, maybe you can dodge 1 of the bullets".- Inspirational speaker of the year! Just an amazingly uplifting doctor!!

I didn't even know how to process this meeting. I mean, I just wanted to know what to do about my stinking heartburn!! In the end though it did get me moving with planning and make me listen to my body a little bit more then I was before.

One of the hardest things for me to do though is ask for help. Which, being completely honest, is two-fold: (1) I know my friends and family are facing their own obstacles and busy lives. I hate interrupting to ask for something to be done for me. (2) It makes me seem weak and vulnerable... and that just doesn't work for me. This situation though forces me to ask for help and forces me to accept the gracious and wonderful help of my friends and family.

Oh the things that I will learn and have learned already on this amazing journey!!