A Weak Week 19...

Oh, I started a post a few days ago about my very hectic Tuesday trip to the hospital... little did I know I would have to erase and start over to just include the whole stinkin' week. It was a weak week 19 for me...

Monday:
Seth took me out with one of our favorite couples, his brother and girlfriend (my almost bday twin), to celebrate our birthdays (mine:11th, her's:12th). We went to one of the AMC Dinner and a Movie theaters - which is my new favorite thing! It was relaxing, I had a good meal, and saw a great movie (Mission Impossible 3)... I couldn't have asked for a better time! When we arrived home, I started to feel a lot of pressure and some back pain, but decided I just ate a lot and maybe walked a little to much that evening and needed to go to bed.

Tuesday:
Seth woke me up and instantly knew something was wrong. He took a few hours off of work in the morning to tend to Mason while I slept and tried to feel better. It didn't work. After a few more hours of contractions and lower back pain, I called a dear friend to get some advice. I knew what she was going to say, but needed to hear it from someone else. "Just call the Dr" she advised... As afraid as I was to do so (thanks to the Evil Dr Doomstress from the previous visit), I finally called and they told me to come right in for observation.

We were there all day, but thankfully not admitted for preterm labor! I was told to take it easier, to get more help with the kiddos and to lay down as much as possible. Which, to avoid hospital bed rest, I can do!

Wednesday:

Dropped the kiddos off with my mother in law and spent the day resting my body from the stress it was put through the day before. On my way home, I stopped at Target to pick up some needed items (toilet paper and good munchies, if you must know). I sat in the car, knowing that the Dr told me to take one of the riding carts through the stores from now on... and I just couldn't do it. They are there for a wonderful reason, and I know that, but I just never ever thought I would have to put-put around on one of them.

I sat for about 10 minutes before I called my mom and asked her to please talk me into listening to the Drs and to use one of them. After going back and forth in trying to build up my confidence, she finally asked "Cass, do you want me to meet you down there for company while you go around the store?" To which there was only one thing to reply: "YES MAMA I DO!!" LOL!  How incredibly wonderful was it that she actually met me at Target just to go through the store together. We ended up laughing the entire time about how I could not for the life of me get used to driving that cart. It went to fast, it was too wide, and for heavens sake it beeps when you back up!!

My hubby picked up the kids from his mom's that evening and they all picked me up to take me out for a birthday dinner at Applebees :) Good ending to a relaxing bday!

Thursday:

Drs appointment day... oh boy. I had my anatomy scan done for all the babies and I think they got everything in about 3 hours. The ultrasound girls and I had a grand time talking the whole time and it actually went pretty fast. Until... Evil Dr Doomstress walked in the room to "recheck" a few things. NEVER good, my friends.

After about 10 minutes of scanning with me asking what she's looking for she finally shared that something didn't look right with our Little Girly A's heart. I didn't even know how to react at first. I laid there and tried to hold back tears compose myself, and went asking exactly what she was looking at. Basically, our sweet little A's heart has two or three holes in it from what she could tell. I was heartbroken... She scanned the rest of the babies and they all looked fine (thank God).

Then Evil Dr Doomstress went into all of the gory details: We could loose the baby before she's born, we could loose her after she's born, she could need multiple surgeries, it could lead to other disabilities, OR it could heal itself and she could be fine... She went on to tell me that the holes were high in the heart, so less likely to heal themselves or to be easily operated on. She handed me a piece of paper with information on it, told me to come back in 3-4 weeks for a Pediatric Dr to do an Echo cardiogram and that was that....

I went down the hall to see my regular Dr where I got a very different story. (1) Holes higher in the heart are surrounded by muscle, so they tend to heal themselves. (2) Holes higher in the heart are less likely to be associated with further disabilities. (3) I did not have to wait 4 weeks for a Pediatric Dr, we will make the appointment for the next time they come in the office (this upcoming Wed).

With such a mix of information, I just shut down. The rest of the appointment is a blur - all I know is they prescribed me heartburn medication (thank goodness) and we made more appointments.

Of course my phone died while I was in the office, so I just had to spend the drive home dealing with trying to keep things in perspective and not cry. Which worked... okay... it worked-ish.

That was it - Evil Dr Doomstress did me in for the whole night and next day. I was up all night with nightmares, migraines, panic attacks, and sick stomach. It threw me out of commission the entire Friday. I couldn't barely get off the couch. Having not eaten anything the previous day from 1pm - 7pm, having not processed anything I put in my poor stomach afterward, and not able to keep anything down Fri morning either, I was ready to tap-out. My mother went out to pick up my nausea prescription and my mother in law had to come to my house to pick up my kiddos. THANK GOD FOR CLOSE FAMILY!!!!!!!



Today I am doing better and have eaten and drank a lot of water. I will NEVER allow myself to seen by this horrible Dr again though. (1) she has NO bedside manner and (2) she was completely wrong with information she shared with me on our daughter's prognosis. NEVER AGAIN will I allow myself to be broken down physically or mentally the way she did the last two times (ummm, the only two times) I saw her.

We are awaiting our appointment with the Pediatric Cardiologist on Wed at 1pm... I am also going to call my Dr Monday morning to go over the results with me again, as he didn't do the scan or see the images, but was going on shared information at the time of my appointment.

A few things to pray for:

(1) That Girly A's heart is fixable either through surgery or by itself. Also that it is located higher in the heart where the muscle is.

(2) My cervical length shortened a lot between Tuesday's scan and Thursday's scan. They have to check it now every week for a while. Just pray that it scans the same this Wed as it did before as shortening cervical length could be a quick way for me to land on hospital bed rest.

Sending out love and hugs to those I am not seeing as much. This has taken us away from a lot of our social outlets and I'm missing my dear friends greatly <3