Our Schedule!

Another busy day here :) Busy is good, now if I had called it a crazy day that is another story!!

So many people ask how I do what I do... which I always kind of find silly because I truly don't know how to respond. Honestly, because I don't even know how I do it. There are days I am on point and everything happens at the right time... everyone gets dressed... everyone naps... everyone is easy. Then there are days I want to hide in the bathroom every few hours. No one makes it out of pajamas, some nap and some don't, dinner isn't even a thought process and I just feel like I have failed.

Those are the days that I have to steadfastly remind myself of one of my main reasons for staying home (aside from the fact that I could never earn enough money to put my kids in daycare). I am building relationships with my kids and building the beginnings of the lives they are going to lead outside this house some day. So what if A and C relish in the fact that they can get their pants off and walk around in their shirt and diaper.... Seriously.... I'm already tired of having the "keep your pants on" conversation!!

Back to the topic I started this post for... Our Schedule! Before the Quads we (with the exception of my husband) were barely clinging to the definition of routine and a far cry from being scheduled. After having quadruplets and a newborn in the course of 11 months, we had to change.

This is what my perfect day looks like. Not every day works like clockwork, but most do. Most have to for my sanity. There are a million diaper changes in the mix here along with endless housework and laundry... but why muddy the nice neat schedule with details?!

8:15 -	I wake up and make a cup of coffee… always done first. Then make the milk for the Quads and a snack for Munch who is up already and eating breakfast with Angel.
8:30 -	Get Quads and R up. They have milk, I have my coffee and nurse R while we watch PBS.
9:30 -	Breakfast - usually cereal or a bread I have made the night before and water or juice. On the weekends Superman makes pancakes and eggs :)
10:15-	First Nap time for Quads. I try to use this time for doing something with Munch, if he is not in preschool that day.
11:30-	Prepare lunches.
12:15-	Quads up and lunch time for all. Except me... I eat when everyone else goes down for afternoon nap...or that is the idea at least, whether or not it happens is another story.
2:15 -	NAP TIME FOR ALL LITTLES! With the exception of R who is not on a set nap schedule yet. Usually she thinks it is a great idea to be up when others fall asleep.
4:30 -	Everyone up and snack time
6:30 -	Dinner
7:30	Bath time
8:30	Bedtime :)

XO

Fast forward - R was born

I wish I could be better about writing here... to catch the daily/weekly occurrences of our lives because it passes so quickly. So incredibly quickly!!

To update big things first - as most people know - we had baby number SEVEN back at the end of Feb! She came a month early, but is perfect just the same. R's labor started (as all of my children's labors did) in the middle of the night. My poor husband!! I woke up at 3:30 and the contractions got closer and stronger. Knowing that I had a scheduled C-section, I truly didn't know what I was looking for with when I should call the Dr or go to the hospital. I finally called at 6, because if you know me at all, you wouldn't be surprised that I didn't want to bother the on call dr until it was a "reasonable" time...

They had me head into the hospital. I truly believed they were going to send me home. I had been in and out of the hospital so many times with the Quads and a few times with R too, that I just don't expect to stay.

After monitoring me for a few hours, the contractions got stronger and closer together and I was progressing into full labor, so they told me that they were going to make me the first c-section of the day. Not what I had expected. They sent in a nurse to explain to me that because the baby was 36 weeks, she might need help breathing and could end up in the NICU for a few days or weeks. Nothing I didn't know how to handle, but it still worried me... Our NICU stay at Saint Peter's was an amazing time and a blessing - I still miss their nurses all the time. But I didn't expect it with R. 

Fast forward - R was born at 11:31am at 6lbs3oz. Healthy, strong and with two cute little dimples!! My first thought when I saw her was that she  looked completely different from our other children.

I had a hard few hours of recovery as I got very sick and had my hubby worried and the nurses watching me closely. Finally my body started kicking into gear and, aside from a spinal headache, my recovery in the hospital was fantastic... I love my hospital stays with my babies... I guess I'm not the norm for that, but I do.

Catch up for the rest of our crew:

A is going through some physical therapy for gross motor movement. She is stiff as a board and it is effecting her ability to balance, which effects her ability to walk/stand/etc. She also needs some speech therapy for expressive talking. Her problem solving/critical thinking skills are AMAZING though and she can usually find her way into anything she wants. She is finally starting to come out of her shell too! She is one of our least picky eaters usually, but lately only wants protein and fruit and literally demands more when she runs out.

B is little mommy and a verbal copycat extraordinaire! You can see the wheels turning in her head to figure out how to say something and normally she can get pretty close. She loves to wipe things down and clean up things. She also is great at telling her siblings to "sit down" if they stand during meals or when C makes her way to standing on the Mickey chair! She is cruising, but very hesitant to walk. She is generally a cautious little girl. She loves most food, but will throw what she doesn't want right on the floor and she makes sure you are looking...

C is a firecracker or 10. She has a huge personality which runs both hot and cold depending on the millisecond. She was the first of the Quads to walk and has been for about a month now. She is like a bulldozing puppy... she has no clue personal space exists and will just walk right over to you - regardless of who is in your lap or who has their diaper being changed in front of you - and climb right in your lap. She is our pickiest eater but is getting better about eating messy food.

X is a big teddy bear of a boy! He is SOLID... he is going to be doing physical therapy along with A for gross motor skills. He is usually easy going, but totally plays the pity card when he wants to be snuggled. He is our best eater and I'm not entirely convinced he even pays attention to what he is eating... it just all gets shoved into his mouth... and like a game of jacks... grab as much as you can!!

Munch is doing well and loving preschool. He is def a two year old crazy busy boy.. I just need to learn how to harness that energy. Learning what to do with it daily. He is such a sweetheart though and makes everyone crack up!! He's a nut!!

Angel is enjoying her summer. She helped out at a VBS last week and loved it. Angel is great with kids and I can totally see her getting into that as a profession of some sort. She is my makeup guru and the one I turn to when I need advice in that field. She's a great teenager in my book :)

My Superman is.... Superman... working ridiculous hours and coming home and helping take care of the kids at night... then turning on his computer and working again until about midnight... It has been hard, but we are managing. I really don't know how he does it, but he does it with a smile of his face usually. I am so grateful for this strength and stamina!!!

Is that everyone?! I think so... aside from me. I don't eat enough... I don't sleep enough... so things haven't changed at all for me!! All of my kiddos sleep through the night (R has since she was 2 months old - can you say LUCKY) and I still am up until 2 or 3am some nights. Just in my blood, I guess... That and I AM ALONE!!! How can I willingly use that time to sleep when I can be up listening to NOTHING and doing NOTHING!!!?!?! Sleep is overrated anyways.

I am not editing this - so take it as it is. Editing is overrated too...

XOXO

Yes, like a circus...

As I stand here awake at 4am (par for the course this time around) I realized I had finally hit 36 weeks. Only 3 weeks to go until our scheduled C-Section on March 18th. I am done and ready to tap out graciously proclaiming this little lovely lady the victor of a long battle over space, nutrients and sanity!! 

For a long time now, I have wanted to share some of the silly things that I face while out and about with my growing family... Now, I understand that we create somewhat of a show when we go out. With all of us in tow, there is a lot to see. That coupled with the fact that my wonderful, loving, probably reading this right now mother is always at the ready to point out to anyone that yes, there are in fact FOUR babies. Between two double strollers, a two year old boy and at least three handlers (yes, like a circus), it is seriously hard to miss us. As much as I had wanted to blend into the background, I just can't and probably will never be able to again. 

I have learned many things over the weeks of leaving this house to find some sense of normalcy in the outside world. 

1. People will ask you anything and everything they have ever wanted to know about your life. I have been shocked at some of the things people are so willing to be open to me about. Don't get me wrong people, I have nothing to hide, but seriously...
2. I have learned to address everyone's shock and awe with one motto WWMDS - "What Would Michelle Duggar Say" :) No matter what my inside voice wants to retort or how bad of a mood I might be on that particular day, I MUST under all circumstances remain insanely positive. More on this in a later post.
3. I must show the world I have it all under control. Bottles prepacked, at the ready for the time needed = CHECK. Unlimited amount of toys for any and all to play with and toss on the ground only to yell for another = CHECK. Unbelievable amount of diapers and changes of clothes = CHECK CHECK. I must seem as though I have it all together and this is all easy for me because I have learned that people watch... and wait... for me to unravel in public.
4. I will always need a nap when we get home :)

I plan to come on over the next couple days to do another update for the kiddos and to add  the post "Most Ridiculous Things People Say". Yes I have kept a list... Yes, you might be on it :-) 

Okay, you're probably not on it... strangers tend to take the cake on this one.

XO

January 2013 - UPDATES!!

Holy Smokes... it's been quite a while.

I'll use the old excuse that "life has gotten away from me"... although for me I think it applies more to an explanation than an excuse :)

To start off the wonderful rambling and updates... YES I am pregnant... YES again... LOL. No one on this earth was more surprised by that than I was. And no - not even Seth was as surprised.

If you know me, you know that I am very open about my infertility issues. After facing the thousands of hours in waiting rooms, hundreds of self injected shots, and a plethora of people I didn't know in places I didn't want them - I can honestly tell you I was the most shocked to find that, three months after our littlest babies were born, I was pregnant again.

We are happily expecting baby number 7 in March 2013 :) SHE is doing well and bouncing around like none of my other kiddos have! She's super active and I can't wait to meet her.

Now onto my kiddos at home with me...

Angel is almost 14... yeah... can you believe it. I can still remember snuggling her before bed, singing to her (what we did every single night until she was about 8), holding her thinking "I can't imagine her at 10"... now I can't imagine her at 20. She is active in her coop and active in her love for anything and all things beauty product oriented. I wish I had a quarter of her makeup savvy growing up... I wish I had it now!!

Munchie turned 2 in Sept. and he is an active little booger! He is loving his siblings and with some on on the move, we are encouraging him to share his toys. It's not really going anywhere at this point though, as his new thing to do is place the Rubbermaid container over what ever his sisters are going after at the time and sit on the box...... Sharing obviously doesn't come naturally. We have him in morning preschool 2 days a week and he is loving it. I am loving watching him grow and learn.

As for all the quads, they will be 10 months old on Sat. Their adjusted age is 7 months (born 3 months early, they adjust their age for development). That's pretty much where the similarities end.

A has a quiet nature and observes everything going on around her. Don't get me wrong - she can talk up a storm, but only in the right mood and to certain people. She is one of our best eaters, as she will eat a jar of baby food in a sitting and enjoys most of it. She has light hair and has {finally} grown into her BIG blue/green eyes. She is our littlest weighing in at just over 12.5lbs. 

B is a pip... She is army crawling to anything that looks like she shouldn't have it - And she's quick! She doesn't talk a lot, unless Daddy is home and then it's all smiles! She LOVES her Daddy. B hates any food that even looks like it came in a jar and will only eat self fed food... the other night she thoroughly enjoyed the pork chops and fried rice I made. She is about 16.5 lbs and has dark dark hair and brown eyes.

X is a boy through and through. He is big and round and happy and jolly. Our heaviest weighing in at 17.5 lbs he surely has the personality to back it up. He is an observer and rolls around to get where he wants, but is much more content on his back playing with his toes. He is a great eater and loves his jar food. Munchie loves him and constantly is doing something silly to make him smile - or climbing all over him to give him hugs :)

C is the baby of the family {for now} and takes full advantage of it. She can be the happiest smiling baby and then instantly break into full on baby heartbreak cry because maybe her sister (usually B) might steal her toy. She has 2 teeth on the bottom and is our only with teeth right now. She loves her bottle still and is not interested in any solid food. We're trying... she will just sit in her highchair and stare you down... eyebrows raised and all!! She rolls to anywhere and everywhere she wants to get to. She is our second smallest, weighing almost 14lbs - she is long and lean. C takes after me and has brown eyes and no hair {I was a bald baby for a loooong time}.

Baby number 7... has no name yet. We just can't pin one down that jumps out at us and feels right. At 30 weeks though, we had better step it up. I am scheduled to go in on 3/18, but am fighting to change that as (A) I don't think I will last that long and (B) it is the day before the quads' bday. We'll see though. As you can tell by whatever time stamp shows up on the post, I am facing yet another loosing battle with Pregnancy Insomnia.... YARG. Other than that though - as long as I keep moving - I feel great :)

Just to throw it out there... I miss all my friends that I now no longer see from MOPS and COOP and life in general  <3 I think about you all everyday...

Alright - off to see if I can coax myself to sleep for a  few hours before daytime life begins again :)

XOXO

Hotel Saint Peter's

Has anyone else noticed that when I get to the part about talking about the hospital I stop writing? It is true... I just can't get myself to write in depth about it.

This is mainly because it was simultaneously the easiest and hardest thing I've ever done. I have never felt so alone in my life, but at the same time I've never felt so incredibly loved. Sometimes at the same exact second. There is literally no way to describe it... Which is why I just don't even attempt to.

Basic points:

• I had beyond amazing nurses that I created wonderful friendships with.

• I was on Magnesium Sulfate a total of 5 times in 5 weeks. The final being the night I had the quads. The second to last one made me so incredibly ill I was afraid to close my eyes and sleep in fear that I wouldn't wake up. I don't think I have ever felt like that in my entire life.

• I grew wonderful friendships with the hospital staff including the meal deliverers, restaurant staff, security, and doctors.

• I had weekly visits from family an friends on various days. My Wed afternoon visits from my mother in law, sister in law and her kids and my grandmother in law. My Wed evening daddy-daughter dates with my dad at the hospital restaurant. Tue date nights with my hubby (he came other days, but this was our dinner date night). My Sat with mom and Angel. My Thursday nights with my brother and sister in law (we never did get that picture). And the occasional visits from friends when I felt up to it.

• My normal day went like this: 5:30am wake up by resident dr, 6am nurse with meds and vitals check, 7:30am bfast delivered, 9am nurse visit with more meds and my time on the contraction monitor, 10am dr came for exam, 11am ultrasound to check babies heartbeats, 12pm lunch delivered and nurse with more meds, 2pm vitals check, 5:30pm dinner delivered, 6pm meds, 8pm contraction monitor again, 9pm meds, 12am meds and then bed. Sounds like a lot, but it was an extremely lonely time in between my wonderful nurses and visitors.

• I made a promise to myself to never cry in front of my kids and I kept that promise (miraculously).

• Skype was my best friend. 

• I was there so long that they let me order off of the staff's menu... honestly I haven't eaten so well for so long in all of my adult life.

• My husband was both parents for 3 months... and sometimes still now. I don't know how he did it - I am just still in awe of the way he could hold things together while his wife was stuck in a room. AND work 2 jobs... he's amazing.

Yeah... I really can't write more about it now. I can't believe it is over and I miss it in some ways... But am so grateful to be home with my family (well half of it).

Pix... why yes, of course :)

 Me and my husband Superman. I don't think at this point I was able to leave the floor yet, but he came in looking dapper for me anyway :)

 Munch was so good when he visited (about 2 or 3 times a week for a few hrs). When they moved me to the amazing corner private suite there was more room for him to run wild :)

 My first flowers sent to me from Superman's cousin... He is serving overseas on his tour. When I realized who they were from I burst into tears. Here I was safe and sound in a hospital bed in New Jersey and he's thinking to send me flowers... I'm always amazed and honored by my friends and family in our armed forces.

 A pic with my sister-in-law Auntie Rah-Rah and her son BamBam - along with Angel and Munchie.

 I LOVED my visits from my kiddos...

 Our wonderful Pastor came to visit almost weekly and I loved our time to talk. He dropped off this amazing care basket put together from my MOPS mommy friends... It kept me going in the end - I love them so much <3 

Visit with my mom!

Our Angel's 13th Birthday

Although my family and friends questioned my dr sending me home that Monday, I politely as I could told them all to shut their pie holes and made sure no one was around to argue the dr when he came for my check up that day. I mean, there was little they could do for me in the hospital and I just wanted to be home.

In wise wisdom, my husband wouldn't allow me to go back to our home though - I needed to be babysat. So off I went to my old room at my parent's house to be taken care of my my wonderful Mom. Although I fought it, I knew I wasn't going to win this one. It ended up being a blessing as my mom cooked for me and made sure I was taking care of myself by pretty much not allowing me to do anything. 

Tuesday was our Angel's 13th birthday. It was really a blessing to be sent home for that day to celebrate with our girlie as I was missing her in the hospital as much as she was missing me. We planned out a family Mardi Gras party for her with beads, masks, candy, etc... We always have a themed family party for her and probably will continue it until she pleads with us no to anymore. We are starting to run out of ideas though, as we have had everything you can think of from a 70's theme to pajama party. We've done Glam, Hannah Montana, Hawaiian, Pirates, and everything in between. Hence the random Mardi Gras theme :)

Our lovely 13 year old Angel had a great time. It was great to see most of our family there celebrating our 1st born during a time that was very hard for her.

Little did I know that the celebrating was only going to last so long... The very next day I laid down to go on the contraction monitor that I went on twice daily so many times before. It showed 11 contractions in 1 hour....... crap. I knew where this was going to go - and I was going to fight to have it not occur, but I lost.

Wednesday Feb 22nd was my check in day at Hotel Saint Peters.

Early January through Mid February

Oh dear... it's been a while. I think home bed rest and hospital bed rest left me uninspired to share my days filled with internet browsing and really (really) crappy tv watching. I should have posted more, considering looking back it all seems like such a blur, but I can't worry about it now - I'll just post what I remember...

Early January through mid February was my learning time for accepting help. IT WAS SO HARD! It's a combination of me wanting control, proving I can do everything,  and feeling like I don't want to inconvenience anyone. However, I couldn't chase Mr. Munch anymore and my Angel was getting bored (to say the least), and so the help wasn't an option - I needed it. Thankfully my wonderful family and friends came to our rescue picking up the kids, watching them, dropping off meals, etc... It was so humbling and I felt so incredibly blessed!

My days alone at home were spent watching absolutely horrible tv - yes to the tune of MTV reality shows, ABC Family dramas, and TLC. Okay... so some of you know me well enough to know that I watch most of that anyway :) There are worse things to watch out there!

At home I have to admit, I ate horribly, didn't drink enough, and couldn't sleep for the life of me. My wonderful Dr had me set up with a home monitoring company which rented me the contraction monitor, blood pressure reader, and gave me 24/7 nursing call services. They were wonderful, but the system really didn't work in my case. In the beginning of the month it was fine, I stayed most of the time below my threshold of 6 contractions in an hour. As the weeks crept on though, the contractions increased which sent me in and out of the hospital's labor evaluation unit a few times. I ended up just driving myself a few times because I knew I felt okay and they would be sending me home anyway.

On Feb 17th I woke up feeling horrible. Back pain, lower abdomen cramping, just plain not right. Seth decided to drive me to a normally scheduled appointment and go to work late that day. Before heading into the office though, we stopped at IHOP for breakfast. Never mind that I was in pain in the car on the way there and never mind that I didn't feel like I could make it through the meal... I wasn't going to pass up an IHOP breakfast!

Things progressively got worse and I was happy when I made it into the office to be seen. To make this already long story short, they took me in, and sent me right over to be seen at the PET unit for evaluation again. This time though, they set me up with a single room, so I knew something was up. After being on the monitor for an hour, they saw that my contractions were only about 3-4 minutes apart and they had to be stopped because I was only 24 weeks pregnant at the time.

Being only the first time this pregnancy going into preterm labor, I had NO CLUE what I was to expect. I didn't know about Magnesium Sulfate or the BETA shots they gave me for the babies lungs. I had no clue how long I would be in the hospital and how I would feel when I went home. 

They started the Magnesium quickly and the fun began. I fought the exhaustion it causes as hard as I could, but finally gave in to the overpowering side effects. I have never been on a drug that literally feels like it is sucking every last ounce it can take from you until they started dripping Mag into my veins. It sucked the life right out me, gave me the finger, and skipped away carrying what I can only imagine was the innards of my soul.

I was so blessed to be taken care of by a sweet nurse who was amazing during the whole process. I could not wish on anyone what she had to witness that night, lol. I did see her later in my hospital stay and thanked her greatly for her care - while on the inside I was thoroughly embarrassed as I had always wished our paths wouldn't cross again.

They moved me into the High Risk Maternity, what I will refer to as 4G, and set me up to stay for 4 days. After not eating for 24 hours and being on Magnesium for 2 days, I was spent. I had no shame left and could barely walk to the bathroom without a nurse there to help me. I earned the wonderful wrist band of "FALL RISK" and for good reason.

The nurses and I got along swimmingly though and after 1 night of sharing a room on 4G they moved me to a private room at the very end of the hall. It had an amazing view and more room for people to visit.

Although I continued to have contractions and some pain through the weekend, my doctor said I was fine to be sent home on Monday... little did I know I would be back again very (very) soon.

The Weeks Fly By

Oh how the weeks fly by!! I have so much to post and upload on here, so I've decided to take this week and bring my blog up to date. From January to current in 1 week... Pix, stories, information... a fantastic hormonal ride through time :)

Check in later today for my first update

Update on Our Little Baby Girl A's Heart

Just a quick update before I attempt (again) to go to sleep. I have found I have a grand new sleeping pattern...

• 6:30am: wake up (thanks Munch), cook breakfast, drag Lizzie out of bed, feed kids
• 9:00am: Munchie nap... Mommy shower and nap. I mean out stone cold on the couch nap!
• 11:00am: Munch up and Mommy up.
• 7:00pm: Become beyond exhausted.
• 11:30pm: Bedtime for Mommy and Daddy.
• 12:30am: Frustrated with laying there for an hour, give up and get up
• 2:30am: Back into bed... and we begin our cycle again at 6:30am!

It stinks... but in about 10 weeks I'll have 4 more little boogers to keep me company :)

Speaking of my boogers, I wanted to jump online tonight to write an update on our little Baby Girl A's heart. And you thought I was just going to razzle and dazzle you with my sleep schedule!!! Which was actually a tangent and completely not the reason that I am sitting here on the computer at 12:30 at night! But, it's written and I'm sticking with the content :)

My mom and mother-in-law both had plans today, so I called my wonderful sister-in-law to see if she could come to the rescue and watch my kiddos. Having two of her own (2 and 7mon), I felt guilty even asking - she already has her hands fully blessed!! True to character though, she was happy to take them in and watch Munch and hang out with Angel for a few hours today. Munch loves playing at her house and I'm excited for the stories we'll be able to tell as our boys grow up together!

As for my visit to Saint Peter's, I was so nervous about the appointment that I had almost gotten myself sick by the time I was in the waiting room. The ultrasound specialist (I'm sure there's a technical name for them, I just am too lazy to google it right now) took a look at everything for about 45 minutes. The Pediatric Cardiologist came in next with the wonderful and talented Evil Dr Doomstress to conduct their own Echo Cardiogram on Baby A, which took another hour.

The findings: One small hole, which they called VSD, in her little heart. The Cardiologist said from the looks of it though, it should close by itself by the time she is 2 years old, if not before, without surgery!! Also, they see this less likely linked to other complications then to it!

We have a follow up appointment with the Pediatric Cardiologist in 5 weeks and beyond that, they will give Sweet Baby A a visit in the hospital for an Echo after birth.

We're so relieved and happy! I was so worried we were going to loose her which, although I always knew there was a possibility of loss, I could never imagine it this far along. We're so grateful!

A Notorious Insomniac

I'm so tired, but I can't sleep. I would love to say this is something new that will come and go with pregnancy... but it would be a lie. I am a notorious insomniac - along with many in my family - and just can't shake it. Tonight I think is a combination of the Pediatric Cardiologist appointment tomorrow accompanied along with the general... let's be positive and call it "discomfort"... that comes along with carrying 3 more babies then one woman should!

So what do I do?! I turn to obsessing over little items to get my mind off of the bigger stuff. Tonight's focus: not sure yet. Was checking out baby names... might do some pinning... probably will change some things around again on my blog. Then sleep?! Please?!

A Weak Week 19...

Oh, I started a post a few days ago about my very hectic Tuesday trip to the hospital... little did I know I would have to erase and start over to just include the whole stinkin' week. It was a weak week 19 for me...

Monday:
Seth took me out with one of our favorite couples, his brother and girlfriend (my almost bday twin), to celebrate our birthdays (mine:11th, her's:12th). We went to one of the AMC Dinner and a Movie theaters - which is my new favorite thing! It was relaxing, I had a good meal, and saw a great movie (Mission Impossible 3)... I couldn't have asked for a better time! When we arrived home, I started to feel a lot of pressure and some back pain, but decided I just ate a lot and maybe walked a little to much that evening and needed to go to bed.

Tuesday:
Seth woke me up and instantly knew something was wrong. He took a few hours off of work in the morning to tend to Mason while I slept and tried to feel better. It didn't work. After a few more hours of contractions and lower back pain, I called a dear friend to get some advice. I knew what she was going to say, but needed to hear it from someone else. "Just call the Dr" she advised... As afraid as I was to do so (thanks to the Evil Dr Doomstress from the previous visit), I finally called and they told me to come right in for observation.

We were there all day, but thankfully not admitted for preterm labor! I was told to take it easier, to get more help with the kiddos and to lay down as much as possible. Which, to avoid hospital bed rest, I can do!

Wednesday:

Dropped the kiddos off with my mother in law and spent the day resting my body from the stress it was put through the day before. On my way home, I stopped at Target to pick up some needed items (toilet paper and good munchies, if you must know). I sat in the car, knowing that the Dr told me to take one of the riding carts through the stores from now on... and I just couldn't do it. They are there for a wonderful reason, and I know that, but I just never ever thought I would have to put-put around on one of them.

I sat for about 10 minutes before I called my mom and asked her to please talk me into listening to the Drs and to use one of them. After going back and forth in trying to build up my confidence, she finally asked "Cass, do you want me to meet you down there for company while you go around the store?" To which there was only one thing to reply: "YES MAMA I DO!!" LOL!  How incredibly wonderful was it that she actually met me at Target just to go through the store together. We ended up laughing the entire time about how I could not for the life of me get used to driving that cart. It went to fast, it was too wide, and for heavens sake it beeps when you back up!!

My hubby picked up the kids from his mom's that evening and they all picked me up to take me out for a birthday dinner at Applebees :) Good ending to a relaxing bday!

Thursday:

Drs appointment day... oh boy. I had my anatomy scan done for all the babies and I think they got everything in about 3 hours. The ultrasound girls and I had a grand time talking the whole time and it actually went pretty fast. Until... Evil Dr Doomstress walked in the room to "recheck" a few things. NEVER good, my friends.

After about 10 minutes of scanning with me asking what she's looking for she finally shared that something didn't look right with our Little Girly A's heart. I didn't even know how to react at first. I laid there and tried to hold back tears compose myself, and went asking exactly what she was looking at. Basically, our sweet little A's heart has two or three holes in it from what she could tell. I was heartbroken... She scanned the rest of the babies and they all looked fine (thank God).

Then Evil Dr Doomstress went into all of the gory details: We could loose the baby before she's born, we could loose her after she's born, she could need multiple surgeries, it could lead to other disabilities, OR it could heal itself and she could be fine... She went on to tell me that the holes were high in the heart, so less likely to heal themselves or to be easily operated on. She handed me a piece of paper with information on it, told me to come back in 3-4 weeks for a Pediatric Dr to do an Echo cardiogram and that was that....

I went down the hall to see my regular Dr where I got a very different story. (1) Holes higher in the heart are surrounded by muscle, so they tend to heal themselves. (2) Holes higher in the heart are less likely to be associated with further disabilities. (3) I did not have to wait 4 weeks for a Pediatric Dr, we will make the appointment for the next time they come in the office (this upcoming Wed).

With such a mix of information, I just shut down. The rest of the appointment is a blur - all I know is they prescribed me heartburn medication (thank goodness) and we made more appointments.

Of course my phone died while I was in the office, so I just had to spend the drive home dealing with trying to keep things in perspective and not cry. Which worked... okay... it worked-ish.

That was it - Evil Dr Doomstress did me in for the whole night and next day. I was up all night with nightmares, migraines, panic attacks, and sick stomach. It threw me out of commission the entire Friday. I couldn't barely get off the couch. Having not eaten anything the previous day from 1pm - 7pm, having not processed anything I put in my poor stomach afterward, and not able to keep anything down Fri morning either, I was ready to tap-out. My mother went out to pick up my nausea prescription and my mother in law had to come to my house to pick up my kiddos. THANK GOD FOR CLOSE FAMILY!!!!!!!



Today I am doing better and have eaten and drank a lot of water. I will NEVER allow myself to seen by this horrible Dr again though. (1) she has NO bedside manner and (2) she was completely wrong with information she shared with me on our daughter's prognosis. NEVER AGAIN will I allow myself to be broken down physically or mentally the way she did the last two times (ummm, the only two times) I saw her.

We are awaiting our appointment with the Pediatric Cardiologist on Wed at 1pm... I am also going to call my Dr Monday morning to go over the results with me again, as he didn't do the scan or see the images, but was going on shared information at the time of my appointment.

A few things to pray for:

(1) That Girly A's heart is fixable either through surgery or by itself. Also that it is located higher in the heart where the muscle is.

(2) My cervical length shortened a lot between Tuesday's scan and Thursday's scan. They have to check it now every week for a while. Just pray that it scans the same this Wed as it did before as shortening cervical length could be a quick way for me to land on hospital bed rest.

Sending out love and hugs to those I am not seeing as much. This has taken us away from a lot of our social outlets and I'm missing my dear friends greatly <3

The Results of Our Little Stinkers-To-Be

I really could be bad and keep the suspense going on this one for a while - but why ruin the fun!!

As promised here are the results of our little stinkers to be :)

Baby A

Girl

Baby B

Girl

Baby C

Girl

Baby D

Boy

Both Seth and I had a heart attack! 3 MORE GIRLS!!! WHOA! I know many uncles who are going to be super busy protecting our 4 little ladies in the years to come!

We are so thankful for our growing brood of kiddos and are excited to meet the four little ones one their way!

As if I was some kind of freakshow...

Have things ever changed in the last few weeks. I have become seriously uncomfortable at night time. I can't lay down because of severe heartburn and I can't sit up because my ribs feel like they're being bruised! With a few attempts to walk through a mall and even Target, I am starting to be willing to give up the fight and just not go out. Which, if you know me at all, is very hard!

As for the last dr appointment, well, it was interesting. As always the ultrasound specialist was heaven sent... all the ladies are so kind and warm - such a God send! All of our tiny little babies are looking great with wonderful heartbeats and good growth. AND YES WE KNOW ALL OF THE GENDERS!!! You will have to check back tomorrow night to see the results though, as we have yet to tell our wonderful parents - who really have been so patient in waiting - I honestly don't know how!

Anyway, the ultrasound went smoothly and only ran about 45 minutes this time. I did have a quick question for the doctor though, and as my regular doctor was on holiday, I said I didn't mind waiting for the dr in the office for the day. Boy was that ever a mistake!

I had been suffering from horrible heartburn and reflux for over a week and it was to the point where I was afraid to eat anything - including water. Everything seemed to have a reaction and I was just not willing to deal with the painful after affects of whatever I decided to chow down on. I asked the doctor if I could take anything aside from TUMS to help ease the pain because it wasn't doing anything for me anymore. She suggested Maalox instead of switching to a RX for it. Okay fine... but then she went into sharing all kinds of information about my situation that completely threw me for a loop... and not just a somersault kind of loop... I'm talking about a Six Flags main attraction roller coaster kind of loop!

As stated by this doctor:

• "The human body was not designed to carry 4 babies at once - of course your facing issues."- I found this completely judgemental and crass! As if I was some kind of freakshow... OH OH... did I forget to tell you, wonderful doctor, that YES I was out in South Dakota in the middle of September where a UFO beamed me up, probed me, and sent me back down on this earth for you to look down upon...... IF IT WASN'T MEANT TO HAPPEN - IT WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED!!
• "I would arrive at every appointment from now on with a packed hospital bed rest bag in your car and backup plans for your kids, because there will be a time where you won't be allowed to go home. They'll just transfer you from here to the main hospital".- Whoa whoa whoa... slow down... hospital bed rest!? Can we please arrive at even discussing home bed rest first!? Which, btw, my regular doctor hasn't even brought up with me! I do see benefit of pre-planning and YES it has kicked me into gear on preparing everything for the inevitable. Seriously though, at the risk of sounding completely cynical, I'm not being committed and I'm not being arrested... depending on the severity of the situation, if I need to leave, I am completely free to do so!
• "You will develop pre-eclampsia, you will develop preterm labor, you will face other complications. If you treat yourself like a 90 year old now, maybe you can dodge 1 of the bullets".- Inspirational speaker of the year! Just an amazingly uplifting doctor!!

I didn't even know how to process this meeting. I mean, I just wanted to know what to do about my stinking heartburn!! In the end though it did get me moving with planning and make me listen to my body a little bit more then I was before.

One of the hardest things for me to do though is ask for help. Which, being completely honest, is two-fold: (1) I know my friends and family are facing their own obstacles and busy lives. I hate interrupting to ask for something to be done for me. (2) It makes me seem weak and vulnerable... and that just doesn't work for me. This situation though forces me to ask for help and forces me to accept the gracious and wonderful help of my friends and family.

Oh the things that I will learn and have learned already on this amazing journey!!

Spoiled Little White Girl...

I am so sorry for delaying an update and also for not answering emails. To be very honest the last few weeks have been an emotionally trying time for me and I tend to hide when I feel like that. Between getting our house ready for sale, preparing to move in with family, preparing my brain for having 6 kids, preparing myself emotionally for a possible long hospital stay, making sure I'm keeping things close to normal for my kiddos, working, coop, homeschooling, cleaning, etc... I am slowly adjusting to the idea of my new life.

Now, let's go back to my first appointment at Saint Peter's with my dr!

November 10th

I remember I couldn't wait for that Thursday to come. I did my best not to get ahead of myself, but it didn't work too well. The morning started out wonderfully - kids dropped off at my mom's, stopped at Sonic for breakfast, and traffic wasn't bad getting into New Brunswick at all. I pulled up to Saint Peter's and somehow managed to even get to the right parking deck when I realized... I had no cash. No worries, I would just get it from Seth when he arrived... Yup, great idea until I read the little sign that said "New Policy: Prepay $4 for Parking". Well, me in my heightened emotional state could I do little to hold back the tears - after all, I didn't know where else to park, where to find an atm, and how late I would be after doing both! So I pulled up to the booth, explained that I did not infact have any cash, but my husband was on the way and he would pay for himself and me if she would let me in. She asked where I was going, what time my appointment was, and I guess figured she could send me away in hysterics or let me in with a smile. Thank God she did the latter!! I thanked her graciously and wound my way up the parking deck.

After arriving in the office I went through some cultural shock. The waiting room was used by 4... FOUR different offices and it was about the size of my livingroom with an abundant amount of pregnant woman, their significant others, and some kids in it. I signed in, found a seat and honestly started to sulk. I texted Seth saying things like "this is NOTHING like Princeton Hospital" and that "I just want to cry and leave because I am so out of place". Being completely blunt and honest... I NEVER felt like such a spoiled little white girl in all my life! In hind sight it was rude and disgusting and if my daughter ever new I reacted like that I would be so embarrassed. BUT it was true - I was being a prissy middle class snot from suburbia.

Following getting signed in and moved to yet another waiting room, I started to calm down a little and gain some logic. Seth arrived and laughed at me because I had over reacted so grandly before - which made me laugh. We were called in to have our scan and there they were. Four tiny babes with strong heartbeats and movement!! I was so relived to see them doing well. Seth did his wonderful husband duty and held my hand the whole time and was genuinely interested in exactly what the nurse was saying.

Following the ultrasound we met with our new doctor. Just a meet and greet with a lot of information thrown our way. I smiled, nodded my head, remember pieces of what was said and just kind of shut down. I tend to overload with too much information for my poor little brain. From bedrest to medication to hospital stays to infant survival rates. WHOA. The dr was wonderful about it all, but still I am standing firmly by my WHOA. Such information needed to be followed with sustenance, so Seth and I were off to the Somerset Diner. A big bowl of Matzo Ball soup, a side salad and some alone time with my man helped pick me back up :)

A Small Victory

My last weekly visit with this specific office was today (Wed 10/26). Figures that I had to fight a horrible battle with morning sickness. I woke up at 6:30, got Mason out of bed, Lizzie was already begrudgingly getting ready to head to her Grandma's house (PS - a 12 year old at 6:30 in the morning is best left alone). I put Mason on his changing table to get him ready and it kicked in. Dizziness, upset stomach, the lot. I somehow convinced myself that I could in fact keep myself upright if I tried hard enough and no I wasn't a bad mommy for leaving my son in his jammies for the foreseeable few hours ahead.

Alright... keep moving...

Mason went into his play yard with his sorting toys, Lizzie was getting ready... wait, was she getting ready? Off I went to check. She wasn't in her room and not in her bed (she's too smart for that). I turned around and there was was sitting a foot away from the space heater on the bathroom floor. Where she should be, NOT what she should be doing! I explained to her that she was leaving the house in 10 minutes whether she was wearing jammies, glasses, and sporting a particularly fantastic dose of morning breath or 100% ready to go. What do ya' know, she moved a lot quicker!

I finally corralled the kids and sent them out the door with my husband. After a particular romantic interlude with the toilet, I somehow managed to keep down a hard boiled egg and toast, and got myself moving too. Considering I wasn't going to see the babies again until mid November, I was determined to get to that appointment come heck or high water.

All went well at the office - four babies and four heartbeats! This was my last appointment with this Dr and I was happy and sad to say goodbye to the staff for now. He gave me his recommendation for a MFM (Maternal-Fetal Medicine) doctor, which is a Dr that specializes in high-risk pregnancies, and off I went to start the next leg of this journey. For the first time I left the office smiling. For the first time I walked out there feeling like I was treading water instead of slowly drowning. It's a small victory, but it really made my day.

Now all I have to do is wait until Nov. 10th to see the specialist and finally clear up some of the fog and have a look ahead at our plan for the coming months. Needless to say, I can't wait until Nov. 10!!

First Baby Pix!

Well, for those who are intersted in seeing pix of our little pumpkins - there's really not much to see. I wanted to scan them into the computer, but had to settle for taking pix of them with my camera instead.

BABY A

Baby A was our smallest little pumpkin two weeks ago and has caught up quite well (for now). I was 7 weeks, 1day pregnant and (s)he measured 7w0d. Just 1 day behind, which is great!!

BABY B

Baby B is measuring 7w3d.

BABY C

Baby C is measuring the same as Baby A, 7w0d. Just one day behind for now is just fine.

BABY D

Our last pumpkin is measuring the same as Baby C, 7w3d. I will happily call them my porkers now, because that will soon very change.

I know they don't look like anything other than blobs on film... but that's just fine to us :)

How Many Little Heartbeats?!

While at the Dr's office for our first scan, he kept telling me that just because we see the sacs where babies should be, doesn't mean that all of them will develop properly. I needed to come back the following Wednesday to see how many little heartbeats there were to determine more.

As the week progressed I was POSITIVE that there was no way all 4 babies would make it. After all, my Dr made it sound like there was the highest probability that they wouldn't. I set myself up for the fact that there may be twins and I was okay with that. No worries! The Lord gave us two hands - so I can make it work!

I went to my wonderful MOPS meeting on the Tuesday before the appointment. A friend who knew we were trying for #3 pulled me aside and asked how it was going, knowing full well I should have known if I were pregnant or not by that point. It was all I could do to keep myself from talking about it - I don't lie because (A) I'm horrible at it and (B) I always fell so guilty I tell the truth in the end anyway, so what's the point. BUT I figured avoiding the facts in this situation was all I could try to do!

S: "So... any news yet!?"

Me: "Well, we went to the Dr last Wednesday and we have to go again tomorrow."
S: "So does that mean you're pregnant?!"

Me: "There's definitely something going on, we are just going in tomorrow to see what else is developing" If only she knew that I really meant 4 instead of 1 !!!

Now, one thing you have to know about me is that I do NOT NOT NOT like people accompanying me to Dr's appointments. I never have in the first place - I deal with news better alone (good and bad) and in complete honesty I don't like having to make small talk in a waiting room with anyone... it is my quiet sanctuary (my only other one aside from the locked bathroom door - lol) where I can actually read a book/surf the web uninterrupted/sit and stare at the floor - whatever I may do, I can do it ALONE. Although that may come across as selfish - I really don't feel bad. It's my one chance to be Cassie... not mommy... not maid... not wife/daughter/sister/friend... I just get to sit there and be ME.

ANYWAY, although I do not enjoy people accompanying me on Dr visits, when my husband came home that night I told him that he would be coming with me to the next appointment and that was pretty much that! LOL :)

When we (yes we - I would have drugged and dragged my hubby there if I had to) went in for the ultrasound on Wednesday, the Dr counted up the heartbeats... four little flickers on the screen. Again, the nervous laughter resurfaced and my husband and I probably sounded like loons. I'm not sure if the Dr thought we were happy or very quickly loosing all our marbles (He didn't know we lost our marbles a while ago).

We weren't even a few hundred feet from the office when I totally lost it. I mean I was ugly crying and couldn't control myself. Hyperventilating, waterfall of tears, scrunched up face, snot... like I said, ugly crying. I didn't care though, I couldn't even form words - it was just too much for me to handle.

The week that followed was intense. I went through the emotional spectrum it seemed like on an hourly basis. And I felt ashamed of it too... how could I be depressed when the Lord was entrusting us with these little souls?? After researching and reading other's blogs who also had quads, I began to feel normal. It is a scary thing to handle and that's alright... I can find joy in it now and have realized it is going to take "baby steps" (almost took that out... so corny) for our family to adjust to our growing family.

What we can use now is prayers. Here are some things you can pray about specifically:

1. That I will daily continue to find the joy in our changing lives.
2. The babies will continue to be healthy.
3. Our daughter "Angel" will find peace in having her life change in such a huge way. Being older, and the one-and-only for 11 years, this is a hard change for her.
4. My husband and I will grow stronger in each other.
5. As horrible as I feel for writing this one - I would ask for prayers that I just accept and am thankful for what the Lord has blessed us with. I have been questioning His decision, His ways, His general (mis)understanding of how strong I actually am as a woman... I need His strength more then ever now, and I need to know this.

Thanks for the love and prayers! Check in tomorrow for baby pix and updates on their development thus far :)

We're Pregnant.... WITH QUADS?!?!

We prayed for one more tiny little blessing for our family of 4... and got 4 more!

You know, I have to be cliche and say "Never in a million years did I think this would happen to us". After careful consideration of our little family - my husband, myself, and our two children Angel (12) and Munch (1) - my husband and I decided to to try for one more. I need some help in this department, so off we went to my wonderful fertility Dr. to start the treatment again. We assumed it would take us a few months at least to conceive again. After one failed Clomid cycle in August, we switched right to injectables in September (Folistim, Ovidrel, and Ganarilex) with IUI (just for good measure, lol)... Well, it worked... too well! The Dr showed me our little quadlets - A,B,C, and D. No heart beats yet - it was too early.

In the office I could do little else but laugh (horrible nervous habit that tends to come about in the most inappropriate situations) and only utter the phrase "uh-huh". As I was leaving the office I was still laughing and positive that the others in the waiting room got a little worried for me. As soon as I was in the car, I called my hubby at work to share the news. Our conversation went as follows:

Me: "Hey babe, just out of the office and all looks good. I'm fine and they're fine as well!"

Hubby: "They're fine.... how many are fine?"

Me: "Guess" (you know I had to make him do it)

Hubby: "Four"

Me: "YUP!" - No conversation continued really from this point... most of it was laughter.

He actually called back multiple times that day, asked how I was doing and just continued laughing! I have found that sheer and utter shock will do that to people. So, we had to wait a week to see if there are heart beats for each little baby to tell if the pregnancy is actually viable.

****************

Check in tomorrow for Part 2 to the story... How Many Little Heartbeats?!